Eagles Superfan Sammy Draper Is Ready For The NFC Championship, The 49ers Fan Looks A Little Drunk And Zac Delivers Game Balls

I think this is what dominance looks like in the AFC playoffs

I’m not an NFL® insider or claim to be an NFL expert like so many social media jagoffs, but I do know what it means in the AFC playoffs when the team on the road takes the opening kickoff and rams it straight into the Buffalo Bills’ throat.

I know what it means when Josh Allen, who puts Jim Nantz and Tony Romo to attention, comes out three times and the Bengals get the ball back and drive it straight into the end zone.

That, my friends, was total dominance from start to finish and it was so amazing not having to sweat the end of a divisional football game. My dad stopped calling me after the 4th and 6th games with 7:32 left in the 4th quarter. Never in my wildest dreams did I think the Bengals would turn off the lights on Buffalo with such ease and without crazy pass interference to give the Bills a touchdown.

And the conclusion after last night’s game is that the Bills can’t build a domed stadium fast enough for this roster. The Bengals were the team you don’t want to play in the snow. If the Bengals beat KC and win the Super Bowl, you can go ahead and build a statue for DJ Reader. Joe Burrow might be in the headlines, but this Bengals defense is amazing down the middle and we’re about to see Patrick Mahomes face a front four that knows exactly how to stop the guy, especially with an ankle bum.

And while we’re at it, Mike Hilton can also get a statue. Bengals fans know how long we’ve been tortured by morons on the defensive side of the ball. God bless the front office for turning this franchise around and getting Mike Brown to step aside.

Quick observations:

• Thanks to the Bengals offense (14 passing first downs, 13 rushing first downs), this game lasted 3 hours. Dare I say this game had a nice flow? Sorry, Bills fans.

• My big purchase this weekend was an Infladium — an inflatable snack stadium! Guys, believe me, it was a success. Here’s how I know — my 6 year old is in his own world 99% of the time and doesn’t care about sports or what I do with games. The Infladium changed that. Now he asks if the games will continue and if I will fill the Infladium. He is inside. The Infladium sits on the counter in the basement and is just low enough for him to reach his arms over the walls to grab his snacks.

• Saturday night we held a block party in the basement during the games and the Infladium was a success. Children dive. Parents dive. Make jokes about Snadium. People are having fun. Orange balloons floating around. What a scene.

• Go to Party City or Amazon and get an Infladium. *THIS IS NOT A SPONSORED ADVICE. He’s just a father speaking from experience. I know some of you are going to think this is absolute nonsense. And that’s when I’m going to say you need to let loose and a $20 snack stadium will release the stress. Bring FUN into your lives. A Snadium is cheaper than going to a therapy session. Save money. Find joy via snacks!

• I love Bills fans, but I have to say I had to sit on social media last week and see Bills fans bragging about how many tickets they bought for the game for the AFC title. Ouch.

• Mike from West Chester, OH writes:

First let me say Buffalo fans are the friendliest I have ever met. We were given food, alcohol and love. Second, Cincy prided itself on having at least 4,000 fans there. Finally, nothing beats your son hugging you and saying, “Dad, what a great adventure, thank you for doing this!”

Buffalo was gracious in the loss and only asked us to beat KC’s ass next week and then win it all.

• Paul T. writes:

Hey Joe I wanted to say congratulations to all the Bengals fans and you in particular…I’ve been a fan for 50 years and my team has never won it all…my motto is “there’s always next year” (except that I miss next year) it’s good to have a team to take care of since mine is on vacation… good luck for the rest!

PS….put on some winter fertilizer just after Christmas and some green st. Augustine peeks through the sleeping grass… already had me looking for this year to mow some shoes…

• Harvey D. writes:

In Kansas City… They have to play us!

• Mark D. writes:

Hell yes Joe. On f’ing KC. Yes of course !!! How about this O-Line today. Woohoo. !!!

Kinsey:

If Jackson Carman keeps playing like this, he can get a statue too! Look at left tackle No. 79. There was also a play I didn’t record where he gave a Bills defender a smack in the head that might have been illegal, but it showed the fire in his stomach. . Two more games, JC. Need you !

• John L. writes:

Congratulations, Jo. I think that seals it all for your guys.

Now you can relax, join Stephen A. Smith in hating the Cowboys, and get ready for next Sunday.

Burrow is clearly a star QB, with only Mahomes in his way.

• It’s amazing to think how badly Tony Romo behaved after such a quick start. The guy got paid and got sloppy. Tony, the Bills lost three points with 7:32 on the clock. They needed points!

• John in SD writes:

Our football days for the season are coming to an end, there are only three left to enjoy. Can we complete the months with pickleball coverage since the NBA regular season is useless to watch. How much better will the USFL be?

Congratulations to your Cincinnati Buckeyes, who had another great run. I hope they keep him for two more games. Joey Cool crushes it. This young group of QBs will be fun to follow for years to come.

Veronika Rajek fooled us all with this Brady fiasco and we fell into the trap of hook, line and sinker.

• Galen, Tennessee writes:

Your love of FJB started with “F%*k Joe Biden”, morphed into “F%*k Joy Behar” and evolved into “Fearless Joe Burrow!” »

Congratulations on the progression of the Who Deys… what a performance!

• And for the final part of our Bengals coverage, let’s go to Jason H. in Cincinnati who happens to have a pretty big job in the city at the benchmark newspaper. Don’t worry, Jason is Team TNML and Team OutKick.

TNML on the move in France

• Mike T. came out on Sunday and you know what that means…we’re getting more promo photos!

Mike T. says it’s in Tourrettes-sur-Loup.

And the T’s hit another bakery. Uh, look at those croissants.

pop up

• AH writes:

How is it possible that our favorite website is also THE most annoying website to use out of all the websites I frequent. Stop with the pop ups! Complete the Learn More tab. How is that good business sense? Pissing people off every time they click on your site is the beginning of the end. Facebook is less boring than Outkick.

Kinsey:

I just work here, AH. Believe me, I have a lot on my plate, just tracking the Ts on a map of Europe and running a mowing league.

Journalists Big J Blue Checkmark

• Jason R. writes:

I saw your comments about Liberal journalists. I agree with all points. Most wanted to write about politics and “make a difference in the world,” but are forced to write about sports and look down on sports fans. I also wanted to add, I think they are ruining the sport too. Several facets to my theory.

  1. Obviously, they injected politics into the sport. I used to watch every NFL and NBA game I could. Since all the revival stuff happened, I don’t care. I can’t remember the last NBA game I watched. But I’m also not a fan of how their game has changed, that’s another topic for another day.
  2. They have encouraged the movement of players as it helps them to fill the dead periods of the sporting year. It seems like they talk more about the transfer portal or free agency than the actual games. What I loved about college was that college guys were like you. Yes, you sometimes had special mercenaries who only stayed for a year or two, but most of them were four-year-old guys that you felt like you knew. Those days are over. Professional sports are literally rooting for laundry. I can barely follow which player is playing for whom.
  3. Finally, they ruined the bowl system. Bowls used to mean something. Your team was rewarded for having a good season and went to face a good opponent that you would never have faced normally. Fans traveled and gamers loved it. Now, if you don’t make it to the playoffs, the season has essentially been a failure and your best players are “out” of the bowling game.

I believe we’re going to see more teams make the playoffs basically because the reporter wants to vacation in the nice cities where those playoffs are going to be. That’s why they pushed for more teams to make the playoffs every year. Do we really need 12 teams in the playoffs? Almost every year the BCS would have been perfect. A model plus one would be fine, but 12 teams is silly. That’s because they’ve been pushing it constantly for years.

Keep up the good work. This column is a must read every day.


That’s more than enough for this morning. I have emails piling up so I’m going to send them on Tuesday. Have a hell of a day at work. I will be here smiling to have a team in the Final Four.

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

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