LONDON – The ex-royals’ new reality show, “Harry and Meghan“, proved one thing if nothing else: Meghan Markle is truly an awful actress. We witnessed some elements of this when she played a second fiddle character in “Suits”. Never the star despite what ‘she tells.
The biggest reveal to date is Meghan Markle’s ever-changing smile, which in the final part of the show shows off her new teeth, just like Wallace. Not the Wallis like in Simpson, but the cartoon series with Gromit. She flashes those new teeth at every opportunity. You too. After all, they cost the ex-Prince Royal Harry a lot. But back to the plot.
What have we learned?
If I were Netflix, I’d think it’s like a tired old soap opera with the best lines and drama ever served up at that other garbage festival that was Oprah Winfrey.
Like Norma Desmond in Sunset Boulevard, Meghan Markle has again claimed she has no idea what a royal walkabout is, even though she has – and it has been proven – watched endless documentaries on fire Princess Diana. We’re supposed to believe this absolute lie and the fact that Harry says Meghan knew how to curtsy while preparing to meet Queen Elizabeth II for the first time.
I mean, really, it’s definitely a script the two of them can’t seem to keep a straight line on.
Next comes the Greta Garbo of the play — reclusive mother Doria Ragland, again as before. royal wedding, filmed alone. What did she reveal? Nothing but her knowing that Harry was her daughter’s.
Of course, the meal and the ticket were never mentioned, but let’s not lose sight of the fact that no matter what Meghan Markle likes to sprinkle as her “truth”, she was actively looking for an English husband, and damn it, she hit the jackpot with Harry.
Likewise, Harry seems to delusional believe that people may have been stunned that he, a redhead, could land such a beautiful woman who had a brain, clearly not understanding that he held the cache. After all, what was Meghan Markle if not a cable TV actress? Somehow she convinced him that she held the power above all else.
The biggest problem with the first three episodes so far is simply this: it’s boring. And I say this with real concern. I mean, if that’s the best they could come up with, what possible scenarios were discarded?
Latest news on the birthday shots of Archie and the daughter Lilibet, who we never see? And now we know why. They are there to support a sick TV documentary, which is very transparent. Meghan Markle made sure to tap into the late Prince Philip, missing the fact that, as he lay on his deathbed, she pushed Harry forward with the world’s first attack on the Royal Family with Oprah. Aside from the usual racist comments and snubs, was that really all they had?
I mean, let’s be honest. Netflix lost thousands of subscribers and, in return, got acres of free publicity from the hapless duo. But, as a show, it’s a bomb because nothing in their story holds up. Even how they first met has changed drastically, like so many inconsistencies in the terrible podcast she hosted, which took years to make. Nothing is really real.
The worst part is that there is still more to come. But unless she says the late Queen secretly hated royal life, then I can see that Meghan Markle and Harry are really left behind when it comes to family reunions.
Still, it might not be long before the hapless duo resort to reality TV. More so Prince Harry, because Meghan Markle will not stoop to that level. But happy for Harry to trash his once loving family that despite what he said he was, in fact, very close and loved back.
That all changed when he met a washed-up actress named Meghan Markle who loved world power, fame and walking the red carpet, all documented at length by the father she dumped when he too became disposable.
Netflix needs to answer three questions in the next episode to make it a success. What really happened with his father? Can she address the moon bump and bullying allegations? How long does she see this marriage lasting?
If these bombshells are left out, then expect more people to leave the streaming giant. But guess what? As with everything, it won’t be Meghan Markle’s fault.